mobixone.com: 2009

"My brother, the legendary king of pop, Michael Jackson passed away on Thursday June 25th 2009 at 2.26pm. It is believed he suffered cardiac arrest in his home.

"Our family requests that the media please requests our privacy at this tough time. And may Allah be with you Michael, always. Love you."

MADONNA, SINGER

"I can't stop crying over the sad news. I've always admired Michael Jackson - the world has lost one of its greats but his music will live on forever.

"My heart goes out to his three children and other members of his family. God bless."

CELINE DION, SINGER

"I am shocked. I am overwhelmed by this tragedy. Michael Jackson has been an idol for me all my life.

"He was not only a talented person but he was unique - a genius. It's such a loss. It feels like when Kennedy died, when Elvis died. My sympathy goes to the family. It's a big loss and it's not even sinking in right now."

CHER, SINGER

"I'm having a million different reactions I didn't expect I would feel.

"He was a great singer - God gives you certain gifts and this child was just an extraordinary child touched by this ability. He could sing like nobody else and he was able to connect with people."

QUINCY JONES, MUSIC PRODUCER

"I'm absolutely devastated at this news. I just don't have the words. Divinity brought our souls together and allowed us to do what we could do through the 80s.

"To this day that music is played in every corner of the world, and the reason is because he had it all - talent, grace and professionalism. I've lost my little brother today and part of my soul has gone with him."

LISA MARIE PRESLEY, JACKSON'S EX-WIFE

"I am so very sad and confused with every emotion possible. I am heartbroken for his children, who I know were everything to him and for his family. This is such a massive loss on so many levels, words fail me."

REV AL SHARPTON, CIVIL RIGHTS CAMPAIGNER

"As a friend of Michael's for the past 35 years, I call on people from around the world to pray for him and his family."

P DIDDY, SINGER

"Michael Jackson showed me that you can actually see the beat. He made the music come to life! He made me believe in magic. I will miss him!"

JANE FONDA, ACTRESS

"I am stunned. My friend, Michael Jackson is dead. He lived with me for a week on 'Golden Pond' set after Thriller.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR

"He was one of the most influential and iconic figures in the music industry... Our hearts go out to the Jackson family, Michael's children and to his fans worldwide."

USHER, SINGER

"My heart goes out to the King of Pop and his family."

PAUL GAMBACCINI, MUSIC JOURNALIST

"Definitely one of the greatest stars of recorded music. There is no doubt of that. He would be in the top 10 of all time, regardless of who the other nine people were.

"But you also have to remember that he went through different stages and owed some of his popularity to collaborators - who I'm sure will be feeling particularly struck tonight - Quincy Jones, with whom he did the great trilogy of albums: Off The Wall, Thriller and Bad.

And he had his historic string of hits Motown with the Jackson Five. And there's no doubt that the records will be listened to for decades to come."

STUART WILLIAMS, MUSIC JOURNALIST

''Michael Jackson was the biggest news story this year in music anyway, you know, a man who has not played live for over a decade, a huge come back, one of the biggest selling artists of all time, 50 sold-out dates, 750,000 tickets at the 02.

"And that was going to be, people thought, the beginning of the next stage of his career, maybe getting back with The Jackson Five, maybe playing in Vegas, it is just utterly flabbergasting."

NILE ROGERS, MUSIC PRODUCER

"It's devastating to me. I don't quite get it. I just don't understand how a person who is younger than I was and to me still had a lot to give the world, is no longer here. I still haven't really digested it."

Tributes To Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson, the child star turned King of Pop who set the world dancing but whose musical genius was overshadowed by a bizarre lifestyle and sex scandals, died on Thursday. He was 50.

Jackson was pronounced dead at about 2:26 p.m. PDT (2126 GMT) after arriving at a Los Angeles hospital in full cardiac arrest, said Fred Corral of the Los Angeles County Coroner's office. The cause of death was not known and an autopsy would likely take place on Friday, he said.

Jackson's sudden death had been reported earlier by U.S. media, which said he was taken ill at his home and rushed to the hospital by paramedics who found him not breathing when they arrived.

Known as the "King of Pop," for hits that included "Thriller" and "Billie Jean," Jackson's dramatic, one-gloved stage presence and innovative dance moves were imitated by legions of fans around the world.

He transformed music videos and his lifetime record sales tally is believed to be around 750 million, which, added to the 13 Grammy Awards he received, made him one of the most successful entertainers of all time.

But Jackson's belief that "I am Peter Pan in my heart", his preference for the company of children, his friendship with a chimp, his high-pitched voice and numerous plastic surgeries also earned him critics and the nickname "Wacko Jacko."

Jackson, who had lived as a virtual recluse since his acquittal in 2005 on charges of child molestation, had been scheduled to launch a comeback tour from London next month.

Quincy Jones, who helped arrange the music on the album "Thriller" and produced the "Off the Wall" album, told MSNBC: "I am absolutely devastated at this tragic and unexpected news."

"For Michael to be taken away from us so suddenly at such a young age, I just don't have the words. I've lost my little brother today, and part of my soul has gone with him."

SOLD-OUT SHOWS

Jackson had been due to start a series of concerts in London on July 13 running until March 2010. The singer had been rehearsing in the Los Angeles area for the past two months. The shows for the 50 London concerts sold out within minutes of going on sale in March.

"Rarely has the world received a gift with the magnitude of artistry, talent, and vision as Michael Jackson," said Neil Portnow, president and CEO of The Recording Academy in a statement.

"He was a true musical icon whose identifiable voice, innovative dance moves, stunning musical versatility, and sheer star power carried him from childhood to worldwide acclaim."

There were concerns about Jackson's health in recent years but the promoters of the London shows, AEG Live, said in March that Jackson had passed a 4-1/2 hour physical examination with independent doctors.

Outside the hospital in Los Angeles about 200 fans and reporters gathered on Thursday, waiting for confirmation of Jackson's death or condition.

Some fans were crying and hugging each other, and others were climbing atop fences to get a better look at a microphone stand where a news conference was supposed to take place.

"I hope he's gone to God, and I hope that he's free of all the troubles he's been plagued with," Tonya Blazer, 50, who said she had been a fan going back more than four decades to his days as a child star.

"I just feel like I'm paying tribute to him," said Dawn Burgess, 42, a fan who said she had posters of Michael pinned to her bedroom wall when she was a child.

CHILD STAR TO MEGASTAR

Jackson was born on Aug. 29, 1958, in Gary, Indiana, the seventh of nine children. Five Jackson boys -- Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon and Michael -- first performed together at a talent show when Michael was 6. They walked off with first prize and went on to become a best-selling band, The Jackson Five, and then The Jackson 5.

Jackson made his first solo album in 1972, and released "Thriller" in 1982, which became a smash hit that yielded seven top-10 singles. The album sold 21 million copies in the United States and at least 27 million worldwide.

The next year, he unveiled his signature "moonwalk" dance move while performing "Billie Jean" during an NBC special.

In 1994, Jackson married Elvis Presley's only child, Lisa Marie, but the marriage ended in divorce in 1996. Jackson married Debbie Rowe the same year and had two children, before splitting in 1999. The couple never lived together.

Jackson has three children named Prince Michael I, Paris Michael and Prince Michael II, known for his brief public appearance when his father held him over the railing of a hotel balcony, causing widespread criticism.

New Yorkers and tourists in the city's Times Square were shocked at the news of Jackson's death.

"I don't know what to say. It's sad, it's really, really sad," said Nicole Smith, an 18-year-old student from Brooklyn, New York, in Times Square. "My mother was a fan. I listened to his music."

"I'm shocked. I thought someone was lying to me when I first heard it. I was a fan from when he was a little boy and then he got weird," said Sue Sheider, 51, a teacher from Long Island.

(Additional Reporting by Jill Serjeant in Los Angeles and Michelle Nichols in New York)

People watch news tickets in Times Square report that Michael Jackson had died

When John Leak, 52, an ambulance driver from Jamaica, Queens, heard the news that Michael Jackson died Thursday, he took a train to Harlem to see if it was true.

There he saw a sign on the marquee of the Apollo Theater: "In memory of Michael Jackson, a true Apollo legend. 1958-2009."

"You had Elvis, you had James Brown, but he was in a class all by himself," said Leak, who recalled seeing Jackson at the Apollo in the 1970s. "He was an icon."

Michael Jackson POP Star

NEW YORK, NY – June 25, 2009 – Michael Jackson, one of the most widely beloved entertainers and profoundly influential artists of all-time, leaves an indelible imprint on popular music and culture.

Commenting on his passing, Sir Howard Stringer, Chairman, CEO and President, Sony Corporation, said: "Michael Jackson was a brilliant troubadour for his generation, a genius whose music reflected the passion and creativity of an era. His artistry and magnetism changed the music landscape forever. We have been profoundly affected by his originality, creativity and amazing body of work. The entire Sony family extends our deepest condolences to his family and to the millions of fans around the world who loved him."

Rolf Schmidt-Holtz, CEO, Sony Music Entertainment, said: "Michael Jackson's unsurpassed artistry and beloved music brought joy to every corner of the world. We join today with his millions of fans in expressing our profound sadness and we offer our deepest condolences to his family and loved ones. It was a true privilege for all of us in the Sony Music family to work with one of the most talented superstars in the history of music. We will miss him greatly."

Martin Bandier, Chairman & CEO of Sony/ATV Music Publishing, said: "Michael was the kind of amazing talent that comes along once in a lifetime. He was an incredible recording artist, an insightful businessman, an unmatched performer, and a true icon. To all of us at Sony/ATV Music Publishing, he was also a trusted and passionate partner, who was very proud of our accomplishments. He will be dearly missed. We wish his children and entire family our deepest condolences."

Five of Jackson's solo albums – "Off the Wall," "Thriller," "Bad," "Dangerous" and "HIStory," all with Epic Records, a Sony Music label – are among the top-sellers of all time. During his extraordinary career, he sold an estimated 750 million records worldwide, released 13 No.1 singles and became one of a handful of artists to be inducted twice into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The Guinness Book of World Records recognized Jackson as the Most Successful Entertainer of All Time and "Thriller" as the Biggest Selling Album of All Time. Jackson won 13 Grammy Awards and received the American Music Award's Artist of the Century Award.

Michael Jackson started in the music business at the age of 11 with his brothers as a member of the Jackson 5. In the early 1980s, he defined the art form of music video with such ground-breaking videos as "Billie Jean," "Beat It" and the epic "Thriller." Jackson's sound, style and dance moves inspired subsequent generations of pop, soul, R&B and hip-hop artists.

Michael Jackson's Rise & Fall

The tragedy of Michael Jackson's death at age 50, reportedly from cardiac arrest, pales in comparison to the tragedy of his life. To understand all that Jackson had and lost requires wiping away three decades of plastic surgeries that deformed him, erratic behavior that made his name synonymous with the warping powers of fame, and a 2005 trial for sexually abusing a child that, even though he was spared of any finding of wrongdoing, made him a pariah to all but the most brainwashed of fans.
But if you can forgive or forget all that, underneath was one of the most talented entertainers of the 20th century. Quincy Jones, who produced Jackson's quintessential solo albums, was devastated by the news of his passing. "I've lost my little brother today," Jones said in a statement. "Part of my soul has gone with him." Added Jones: "Divinity brought our souls together ... and allowed us to do what we were able to throughout the '80s. To this day, the music we created together on Off the Wall, Thriller and Bad is played in every corner of the world, and the reason for that is because he had it all."
Jackson was born in 1958, the seventh of nine Jackson children, and before he had reached age 6, he had joined his brothers in the Jackson 5. By age 8, he had taken over lead-singing duties with brother Jermaine, but there was no question who was the star of the group. Little Michael was the best dancer and singer of the bunch, and he also had the mysterious thing that record bosses and studio chiefs crave: star power. Michael appeared to be his best and most interesting self when everyone in the world was watching.

As Michael aged into adolescence, the Jackson 5, renamed the Jacksons after departing Motown Records, inevitably lost some of their charm. A solo career followed, and after a steady stream of middling hits that attempted to milk the last bit of innocence from Jackson's voice, Jackson had the good fortune to hook up with Jones while filming The Wiz. The two shared a vision for what Jackson's career as an adult might be, and on 1979's Off the Wall, they executed it beyond even Jackson's dreams. With songwriting help from Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, Off the Wall spun off four Top 10 hits, including two No. 1s — "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" and "Rock with You."
At 22, Jackson became not only one of the most admired pop musicians in the world but one of the globe's most famous people. And his fame only increased with the 1982 release of Thriller, which was to become the best-selling album of all time (until it was eclipsed in the late '90s by the Eagles' Greatest Hits, 1971-1975). Seven of the record's nine tracks made the Top 10, and the Jones-produced hooks remain awe-inspiring. In a cover story about Jackson and Thriller, TIME described him as "a one-man rescue team for the music business. A songwriter who sets the beat for a decade. A dancer with the fanciest feet on the street. A singer who cuts across all boundaries of taste and style and color too."

While Jackson had few ambitions at the time beyond global domination, it's worth noting that "The Girl Is Mine" established interracial love as a pop-music theme, and "Beat It" (with Eddie Van Halen's guitar solo) bridged arena rock and soul four years before Run-D.M.C. met Aerosmith. On March 25, 1983, Jackson may have reached the very peak of his fame when he unveiled his signature dance move, the moonwalk, live on the Motown 25: Yesterday, Today, Forever television special.
The years after Thriller, however, were marked by a slow descent into what was at first dismissible as eccentricity. Jackson attended the Grammys on a triple date with Emmanuel Lewis and Brooke Shields, purchased a chimpanzee named Bubbles and was given a diagnosis of vitiligo, a condition he said was responsible for the steady lightening of his skin. But his songwriting genius remained undeniable. With Lionel Richie, he co-wrote "We Are the World," a 1985 charity single that raised an estimated $50 million for famine relief in Africa and ushered in the era of celebrity philanthropy.

After the release of 1987's Bad, a disappointing follow-up to Thriller, Jackson purchased the 2,800-acre Neverland Ranch in California, and his public weirdness became almost aggressive. In his biography Moonwalk, Jackson wrote of childhood abuse at the hands of his father and multiple plastic surgeries, subjects he returned to in a 1993 interview with Oprah Winfrey that was one of the most watched nonsports programs in American history.

Shortly after, Jackson was accused of child sexual abuse in a suit brought by Evan Chandler on behalf of Jordan, his then 13-year-old son. Jordan told a psychiatrist and police that he and Jackson had engaged in sexual acts that included oral sex; the boy gave a detailed description of Jackson's genitals. The case was settled out of court for a reported $22 million, but the strain led Jackson to begin taking painkillers. Eventually he became addicted.
To counteract the stigma that came with the allegations of pedophilia, Jackson married Lisa Marie Presley in a relationship Elvis' only daughter later dismissed as a sham. Two years later, they divorced.

Given the tumult in his personal life, it's no surprise that the 1990s were a barren period for Jackson creatively. In 2001 he managed to pull himself together enough to release Invincible and stage two concerts at New York City's Madison Square Garden celebrating his 30th anniversary as a performer. The shows, held a few days before Sept. 11, were a capsule of all Jackson had become. There were bizarre cameos from friends Marlon Brando, Liza Minnelli and Elizabeth Taylor. Macaulay Culkin sat next to Jackson in a royal box. But several hours after the proceedings began, when Jackson finally took the stage, all the years of Wacko Jacko melted away. Then in his early 40s, he could still dance and sing better than almost anyone in the world, and he still had star power. The Jackson on display in those concerts was the one the world admired and the one that will be missed.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Student Loan

A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. His mom said, “Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?”

“Uhh, oh yeah, okay,” responded the kid.

So his mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package and went to the post office to mail the money and the book.

When she gets back, her husband asked, “Well how much did you give the boy his time?”

She said, “Oh, I wrote 2 checks, one for $20 and the other for $1000 out to him.”

“That\’s $1020!” yelled her husband. Are you crazy?”

“Don\’t worry, Hon,” she said. “I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 19!”

First Grade Student

The first grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess.

Teacher asks Sarah, “What did you do at recess?”
Sarah says, “I played in the sand box.”
Teacher says, “That’s good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write ’sand’ correctly, I’ll give you a fresh-baked cookie.” She does and gets a cookie.

Teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.
Morris says, “I played with Sarah in the sand box.”
Teacher says, “Good. If you write ‘box’ correctly on blackboard, I’ll give you a fresh-baked cookie.” Morris does, and gets a cookie.

Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at recess.
He says, “I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me.”
Teacher says, “Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write ‘blatant racial discrimination,’ I’ll give you a cookie.”

Stupid Test

A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten birds on them. Each bird had a sack over its head; only the legs were showing. He sat straight in the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. The professor announced that the test would be to look at each of the birds’ legs and give the common name, habitat, genus and species.

The student looked at each of the birds’ legs. They all looked the same to him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying and now had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it the madder he got.

Finally he could stand it no longer. He went up to the professor’s desk and said, “What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?” With that the student threw his test on the professor’s desk and walked to the door.

The professor was surprised. The class was so big that he didn’t know every student’s name so as the student reached the door the professor called, “Mister, what’s your name?”

The enraged student pulled up his pant legs and said, “You tell me buddy! You tell me!”

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

دستور

از شاعر انقلاب حبیب جالب

دیپ جس کا محلات ہی میں جلے
چند لوگوں کی خوشیوں کو لے کر چلے
وہ جو سائے میں ہر مصلحت کے پلے
ایسے دستور کو، صبح بےنور کو
میں نہیں مانتا، میں نہیں مانتا

میں بھی خائف نہیں تختہ دار سے
میں بھی منصور ہوں کہہ دو اغیار سے
کیوں ڈراتے ہو زنداں کی دیوار سے
ظلم کی بات کو، جہل کی رات کو
میں نہیں مانتا، میں نہیں مانتا

پھول شاخوں پہ کھلنے لگے،تم کہو
جام رندوں کو ملنے لگے،تم کہو
چاک سینوں کے سلنے لگے ،تم کہو
اِس کھلے جھوٹ کو، ذہن کی لوٹ کو
میں نہیں مانتا، میں نہیں مانتا

تم نے لوٹا ہے صدیوں ہمارا سکوں
اب نہ ہم پر چلے گا تمھارا فسوں
چارہ گر میں تمہیں کس طرح سے کہوں
تم نہیں چارہ گر، کوئی مانے، مگر
میں نہیں مانتا، میں نہیں مانتا

حبیب جالب مزدور شاعر

از حبیب جالب

ظلمت کو ضیاء، صرصر کو صبا، بندے کو خدا کیا لکھنا
پتھر کو گہر، دیوار کو در، کرگس کو ہما کیا لکھنا
اک حشر بپا ہے گھر گھر میں، دم گھٹتا ہے گنبدِ بے در میں
اک شخص کے ہاتھوں مدت سے، رسوا ہے وطن دنیا بھر میں
اے دیدہ ورو! اس ذلت کو قسمت کا لکھا کیا لکھنا
ظلمت کو ضیاء، صرصر کو صبا، بندے کو خدا کیا لکھنا

یہ اہلِ حشم، یہ داراوجم، سب نقش برآب ہیں، اے ہمدم
مٹ جائیں گے سب پروردہء شب، اے اہلِ وفا! رہ جائیں گے ہم
ہو جاں کا زیاں پر قاتل کو معصوم ادا کیا لکھنا
ظلمت کو ضیاء، صرصر کو صبا، بندے کو خدا کیا لکھنا

لوگوں‌ہی پہ ہم نے جاں واری، کی ہم نے انہی کی غم خواری
ہوتے ہیں‌تو ہوں یہ ہاتھ قلم، شاعر نہ بنیں درباری
ابلیس نما انسانوں کی، اے دوست! ثناء کیا لکھنا
حق بات پہ کوڑے اور زنداں، باطل کے شکنجے میں‌ہے یہ جاں
انسان ہیں‌کہ سہمے بیٹھے ہیں، خوں‌ خوار درندے ہیں‌ رقصاں
اس ظلم و ستم کو لطف و کرم، اس دکھ کو دوا کیا لکھنا
ظلمت کو ضیاء، صرصر کو صبا، بندے کو خدا کیا لکھنا

ہر شام یہاں شامِ ویراں، آسیب زدہ رستے، گلیاں
جس شہر کی دھن میں‌نکلے تھے، وہ شہر، دلِ برباد! کہاں
صحرا کو چمن، بن کو گلشن، بادل کو ردا کیا لکھنا
ظلمت کو ضیاء، صرصر کو صبا، بندے کو خدا کیا لکھنا

اے میرے وطن کے فن کارو! ظلمت پہ نہ اپنا فن وارو
یہ محل سرائوں کے باسی، قاتل ہیں سبھی اپنے، یارو!
ورثے میں ہمیں یہ غم ہے ملا، اس غم کو نیا کیا لکھنا
ظلمت کو ضیاء، صرصر کو صبا، بندے کو خدا کیا لکھنا

Read More

Mohsin Naqvi (Poetry)

خود بخود چھوڑ گئے ہیں تو چلو ٹھیک ہوا ۔ اتنے احباب کہاں ہم سے سنبھالے جاتے؟

ہم بھی غالب کی طرح کوچہ جاناں سے محسن ۔ نہ نکلتے تو کسی روز نکالے جاتے۔

Khud ba-khud chor gay hein tu chalo thek hua

Itne ehbab kahan hmse sanbhale jate

Hm b Ghalib ki trha kocha-e-jana se MOHSIN

Na nikalte tu ksi roz nikale jate

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Mohsin Naqvi (Poetry)

جلا کے تو بھی اگر آسرا نہ دے مجھ کو
یہ خوف ہے کہ ہوا پھر بجھا نہ دے مجھکو

میں اس خیال سے مڑ مڑ کے دیکھتا ہوں اسے
بچھڑ کہ وہ بھی کہیں پھر صدا نہ دے مجھکو

بس اس خیال سے شب بھر میں سو نہیں سکتا
کہ خوفِ خوابِ گزشتہ جگا نہ دے مجھکو

تیرے بغیر میں تیری طرح سے زندہ ہوں
یہ حوصلہ بھی دعا کرخدا نہ دے مجھکو

میں اس لئے بھی اسے خود مناوں گا محسن
کہ مجھھ سے روٹھنے والا کہیں بھلا نہ دے مجھکو

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Adult Jokes

An 85 yr old man went for a sperm test.

Dr gave bottle to collect sperm. Next day, the man came with empty bottle & told that he tried with his left hand then with his right hand.Then his wife tried with her left hand & then with her rt hand. Then his daughter in law tried with both hands & mouth. Then the neighbour's wife and daughter tried the same way...

but could not open the bottle.

Think Positively plz.

Political Humor

Wo konsay 3 Janwar hain jinki gardan nai hoti?

Socho...

Nahi Pata??

Chalo Main Btata hun

1-Maindak

2-Pig(Sowar)

aur

Apnay ALTAF BHAI!

Funny Jokes

Aloo ko pyaz se piyar ho gaya

gusse se timatar laal ho gaya

hara dahnya aur podina nachne lage

itne me salan taiyar ho gya.

Adult Jokes

1 Sexy Larki college me teaching kliay gai Principle ne pocha tm kia parha skti ho

Biology

Zology

Geology

Larki:No No Sir

Sirf

Dalogy

Nikalogy

Nahalogy.

Good Morning Pakistan

Good MORNING Pakistan.

Aaj ki khas khabron k sath mai ho apka Dost :-)

Sab se phle Headlines:

Love u Miss u Have a Nice Day

Or ab tafsel:

Aaj b rozana ki trha SMS ki barish jaari rhe gi.

Call aane ka b imkan hai

Miss call k badal b kafi mobiles pe chaye rhe ge.

Aaj poora din bar bar vibration k jhtke lgte rahe ge

Log ghbra k mobiles pocket se nikal k hathon main le lein ge

Mazed khbro k liye prte rhen mere sms.

Altaf Bhai

Ankhon Mai Jab Kabhi Altaf ki Tasveer Aati Hai

Hum..

ASTAGHFAR..

Parh Letey Hain..

Tabiyat _Sambhal..

Jati Hai.. :-)

Nokia 6610

A Sardar Sent SMs

2all frnds:

"My mobile no.

has been

changed

Previously it was

nokia6610

Now its

nokia 2626

So Plz send msg on nokia 2626.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Laal Tamator

Sardar g k khait k Tamatar buhut laal hote thay,

Parosan ne pocha to sardar g ne kaha:

Madam,main roz subah pora nanga ho kar pani deta hon,

Isi liye Sharam se Tamatar laal ho gae!

Parosan ne bhi apne khait main aisa hi kya,

Tamatar to laal nahi huwe,

Kheere lambe ho gaye.;-)

Elan-E-Aam

,*”Elan-E-Aam”*,’

‘*”Apni Zakaat”*’
Kheraat Sadqaat

Qurbani ki Khaalen
KESC Ko Dijiey

Is
Se Apko Akhrat
Me Ajjar

Or Dunia
Me Bijli MiLe Gi

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

MUSLIM & MOMIN

Ishfaq Ahmad likhtey hain

"1 sawal ne muje bohat preshan kia"

Sawal ye tha: MOMIN or MUSLIM me kia farq hy?

Bohat logo se pocha mgar kisi k jawab se mutmain na hua.

1 dafa 1 gaaon se guzra.Dekha k 1 Baba Jee ganney ka russ nikal re hain, najane dil me khyal aya k inse yahi sawal pochon to mein ne salam kia or ijazat le k sawal btaya.

He thought n replied "Muslim wo hy Jo ALLAH ko manta hy

Or MOMIN wo hy jo ALLAH Ki manta hy...

LOAD SHADING

Dekho Andhera

Kitna Suhana Hai,

Load Shading Ka Zamana He,

Kar Do Ek

Aacha SmS Rawana,

Balance Bacha K Kya UPS lagwana hai. ;-)

An importent MSG

An importent MSG..!
PAKiSTAN Ka Mosam Kesa B Ho

AATA
Mile Ya Na Mile

BiJLi
Aye Ya Jai

TiME
1 Ghanta Agay Ho Ya Peche

HOLiDAY
Friday Ko Ho Ya Sunday Ko

PETROL
Mazeed MehenGa Ho Ya Sasta

PANi
Ae Na Ae

mera SMS

Pehle Bhi Aate Thay, Ab B Atey Hy
or Inshallah mustaqbil me bhi Aate Rahenge

Monday, April 13, 2009

Rabri Devi In Hell

Rabri Devi died and went to hell (as expected…)

As she stood in front of Yamraj, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind.

She asked, What are all those clocks?

Yamraj answered, Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.

Rabri : “Oh”, Who’s clock is that?

Yamraj : That’s Gautam Buddha’s. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie.

Rabri : And whose clock is that?

Yamraj : That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life.

Rabri : Where’s my Laloo’s clock?

Yamraj : Laloo’s clock is in my office, I’m using it as ceiling fan.

Fazal-ur- Rehman

(Larki)

Shaadi ka wada kia
Adnan se

Warna mohaßat to thi
Rehan se

Anjane me sab keh dia Farhan se

kia haal hua tha pocho Shayan se

Ab ummeed hai sirf Noman se

Lekin bat banegi Imran se

Ya phir dekho faizan se

Nahi to shayad zeeshan se

wrna setting to hai hi Molana Fazal-ur- Rehman se

Welcome 2 Pakistan

Welcome 2 Pakistan,

Due 2 d recent situation of Pakistan
the courses have been changed 2;

MBBS:
Master in Bomb Blasting Strategies

CA:
Career in Alqaeda

MSc:
Master Sucide Course

IT:
Institute of Terrorism

MBA:
Member of Blasting Agency

All these Courses offerd by

UET:
Univrsty of Error n Terror

Zardari 2 Nawaz

زرداری سائکل پر جارہا تھا۔

نواز شریف ملا۔ اور بولا۔

اللہ کے نام پہ کچھ تو دے دو سائیں۔۔۔

زرداری چل آ بیٹھ۔

تجھے ایک اور چکر دیتا ہوں۔

۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

Zardari cycle pe ja raha tha.

Nawaz sharif mila or bola:

Allah ke nam pe kuch tu de do Sayen.

Zardari: Chal aa beth.

Tuj ko 1 aur ‘Chakkar’ Deta hoon.

GEO ZAIDI

نمرود کو مچھر کا کاٹا یاد رہے گا۔
فرعون کو موسٰی کا عصا یاد رہے گا۔
بش بھول گیا ہے جو کردارِ حسین۔۔۔
جوتا اسے زیدی کا سدا یاد رہے گا۔
۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

NAMROOD Ko Machar Ka Kata Yad Rahe Ga*
FIROON Ko Musa Ka Asa Yad Rahe Ga*
BUSH bhol Gaya Hai Jo Kirdar-e- Hussain*
Joota Usay ZAIDI ka Sada Yad Rahe Ga*

Zardari's Performance

شیطان اپنے چیلوں سے۔۔۔

سام۔۔۔ تمہاری ڈیوٹی آج سے امریکا میں ہے۔

جولی۔۔۔ تم یو کے جاو گی۔

اور پیٹر تم انڈیا چلے جاو۔۔۔

سام۔۔۔ سر پاکستان کس کو بھجوانا ہے؟

وہاں کسی کی ضرورت نہیں۔

میں آصف علی زرداری کی پرفارمنس سے بہت خوش ہوں۔

۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

Shaitan apne chelun se: Saam tumhari duty aaj se America main hy,

JULIE tum UK jao gi,

aur

PETER tum India chalay jao.

Saam: Sir Pakistan kis ko bhijwaya hy???

Shetan: Wahan Kisi ki zuroorat nahi!

I’m satisfied with ASIF ALI ZARDARI’S performance…

kARACHI K HALAAT

کراچی کے حالات۔۔۔

پینٹ شرٹ پہنو تو پٹھان نہیں چھوڑیں گے۔

شلوار قمیض پہنو تو ایم کیو ایم والے نہیں چھوڑیں گے۔

چڈی بنیان پہنو تو طالبان نہیں چھوڑیں گے۔

اور کچھ نہ پہنو تو ۔۔۔۔۔۔

عوام نہیں چھوڑیں گے۔

Karachi K Halaat!

“Paint Shirt” Pehno To Pathan Nahi Chorengay

“Shalwar Qameez” Pehno To MQM Walay Nahi Chorengay

“Chaddi Banyan Pehno To Taleban Nahi Choregay

Aur

“Kuch Na Pehno” To Awaam Nahi Choregi

PAKISTAN ZINDABAD

POLITICIAN'S

Siasatdano Se Bhari Hoi Ek Bus

Driver Se Beqabo Hokar Pul Se Nichi

Gir Kar Ek Keht Mai Ja Gusi.

Kisan Ne Awaz Sunkar Ghar Se Bahar Aya
Or Sari Siasatdano Ko Dafnaya..

2 Din Baad Police Wahan Ayi

Khasta Hal Bus Dekni Ke Baad Kisan

Se Pocha “Kia Sare Siasatdan Mar Chuke They?

Kisan Ne Kaha Nhin G Kuch To Keh Rahe The Ki

Wo Zinda Hain Magar Jinab Aap Ko To Pata Hai K

Siasatdan Kitna Jhoot Bolte Hain

Berozgaar Behan

Salam Bhai

ap se ek arz hai

agar koi govt ya private

ya koi sales ki job ho to mujhe zaroor batain……..

Ap ki BEROZGAR,

sister

Shereen Rehman.

Election India

Hieght of Double Meaning:

After the Elections PM of India Manmohan Singh said;

“Yeah Sb To Sonia G K Hath Ka Kamal Hai,

Warna Is Umer Main Mera Khra Hona Mushkil Tha”

Laloo Apply For Job At Microsoft

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft
Corporation, USA.
A few days later he got this reply: *

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further
correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks
Bill Gates.** *

*
Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference : “Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi
hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai.”
Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued… … “Ab hum aap sab ko
apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai -
isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.*

*
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad —– Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet —–aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement —– humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance —– ab Letter vetter bhejne
ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call —– phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained —– bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks —– aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. —- Tohar Bilva.*

Political Humor

Barack Obama, John McCain, and Bill Clinton are on a ship in the Persian Gulf.

The ship hits a mine and begins to sink.

Obama says: “Women and children first.

” McCain says: “F*** the women.

” Clinton says: “Do we have time?”

Obama's Fan

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different.

Little Johnny said, ‘Because I’m not an Obama fan.’

The teacher asked, ‘Why aren’t you an Obama fan?’

Johnny said, ‘Because I’m a Republican.’

The teacher asked him why he’s a Republican.

Little Johnny answered, ‘Well, my Mom’s a Republican and my Dad’s a Republican, so I’m a Republican.’

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, ‘If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?’

With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, ‘That would make me an Obama fan.

Obama's Wite

What do Barack Obama’s wife and the American flag have in common?

They both go down in the name of the president.